Psychological Preparations

Having grown up with a hoarder, mentally preparing myself for once again diving head first, and willingly, into such an adventure is a short and very easy procedure. It simply involves putting my mind set into that of my mother's. Again, for me, that is an easy step for me to take. It is not, however, an easy step, nor an expected one, for anyone else to have to make. In fact, if a person is not as closely prepared to go face to face with such a process, it can be quite confusing, aggravating and even down right angering.

The average person can not handle such a project. That person would end up almost forcing themselves into the home, 'taking charge' of the situation, 'cleaning' the entire place top to bottom in record time, and doing so all while the owner of said home is forced to be away from the home until such cleaning is done. Believe me, I personally would love nothing more than to be able to send my mother on a month long vacation to Hawaii and clean the entire house top to bottom to MY specifications of clean, and then have her return to the house all nice and spotless. This would also be something that would render my mother in need of several straight jackets and a multi-layered padded room for the rest of her life.

I have already heard 'horror stories' about people who have had hoarders for relatives. They wanted so much to do something nice for their loved ones. They sent their relatives on a nice vacation, all expenses paid. They went into the person's home, cleaned it up, even to the point of purchasing better furnishings that were not broken or torn. The home was like a brand new place when their relatives returned. These people, as nice and expensive of a gesture as they gave to their relatives, were greeted with cries of torment, psychological horror, emotional melt downs and out right anger and hatred. It's not because the people did anything really wrong. They didn't. It was because the hoarder for which this nice deed was done, had just walked into a living nightmare. They returned to their own living Hell.

Years ago, when we lived in western Massachusetts, my mother went away on a weekend trip with some women from our church. My father and I decided that we were going to really clean the house up spotless, so that when my mother got home, she wouldn't have to worry about anything, and that she'd be able to just walk in the door, put her feet up and relax. We did everything. Washed windows, mopped floors, polished silver and furniture, rearranged the living room to where it was opened up a bit more and felt fresher and brighter....the whole ball of wax. Top to bottom, inside and out. When she returned, the house was cleaner than it had been in years. My mother? She went into a mental and emotional melt down.

Back then, neither my father nor I could figure out what we did that was so horrifying as to cause such a negative reaction from my mother. As the cliche goes, had I known then, what I know now, things would have been done much differently. In fact, considering her reaction, nothing would've been done at all. It was not until I reached adulthood that I grew to understand my mother's condition, and it was then that I began studying it more in depth and from an up close and personal stance. My mother proved to be an extreme wealth of information and knowledge into what makes these types of people tick.

So how does a person go about psychologically preparing themselves to clean the home of a hoarder? Truth be told, there is no one way to do this. Simply put, you have to cross each bridge as you come to it. You do have to prepare yourself for this type of an undertaking, and there is a degree of understanding that you have to be willing to go through in order to handle all of it properly, but each individual person deals with situations in their own way. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare yourself, but you also just have to cross each bridge as you come to it. In other words, you prepare yourself in stages.

There are a few rules to try your best to follow when it comes to preparing yourself to go in and clean out the home of a hoarder.

Rule 1: Don't think about it too much, or you'll give yourself a life long migraine.
Rule 2: If you find something in the house that could be either cake or beef, it's probably both and should be thrown out. Use force if necessary, as it might attempt to fight back.
Rule 3: Start investing in pain killers.
Rule 4: Take breaks often to get fresh air.
Rule 5: Drink plenty of water.
Rule 6: Make sure you eat properly.
Rule 7: Sleep!

Now some of these 'rules' might seem a touch on the humorous side. I assure you, other than 'Rule 2', none of them are written with the slightest amount of jest. If you have ANY type of allergies or breathing problems, do not hesitate to wear a breathing mask, or at least a scarf over your nose and mouth.

Some explanations to these rules are probably in order at this point, so they are listed below.

Rule 1: Prolonged exposure to areas that are covered in molds, mildew, allergens, pollens and the like, can cause life long problems that can stem into migraine headaches. These are generally triggered from sinus or allergy related issues. So if you begin to experience any type of head aches, sinus pains or have breathing problems, after being in the home of a hoarder for long periods of time, talk to your doctor immediately.

Rule 3: Unless you are a professional athlete, an Olympian gold medalist, a Tour De France cyclist, a professional mountain climber or a professional spelunker, you WILL end up needing pain killers at the end of each day. Cleaning out the home of a hoarder will require you to use every single muscle group in your body, most of which you were never aware you had until that moment in which you began cleaning said home. Get pain killers.

Rule 4: See explanation for Rule 1

Rule5 and 6: See Rule 3, and understand that you will need to refresh your system with nourishments and water regularly. Dehydration should not be on your list of things to worry about.

Rule 7: Sleep is important. You will need as much sleep as you can possibly get during your cleaning project. The minimal you should be striving to get is a doctor-recommended 6 hours of unbroken sleep each night. Preferably, there should be 8 hours of unbroken sleep per night.

You will also want to keep yourself well showered and cleaned. This does not mean that you need to keep your hair perfectly, or your make up on at all times. In fact, I'd never even think of recommending that you do all this. After all, you're going to be cleaning, not going to a fashion show. Old work clothes, comfortable shoes, keep your hair out of your face and make sure that you don't have alot of jewelry on that can get snagged on items or caught on edges. If you have to take certain types of medication on a regular basis, make sure that you have them handy at all times. You do not want those medications getting misplaced or lost in a pile of items.

If this sounds like you're preparing for some type of major expedition, you're right. You are.

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